I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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