i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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