I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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