Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
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He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
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Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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