maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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