Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
