Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Soap is not a condiment
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
