areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
