I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
