I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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