Sponge bath it is.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
