yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.