Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening