We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.