'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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