Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
