white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
