I want to have your abortion
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
where are my eyebrows?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
