operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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