even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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