worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
