Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
