All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
