Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
