Got a toothbrush?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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