Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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