We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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