Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
