Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
