Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
