The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
