even my farts smell like vagina
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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