you would pick up someone in the library
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
