Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
