my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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