Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
