he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
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Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
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It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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