smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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