Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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