it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
is it fun? or sober?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
