Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
