Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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