"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
