Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
