Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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