no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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