Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
