her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
