You're my little dorito
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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