I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
