i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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