Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
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