i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
