I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You are a genius and a whore.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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