i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
