I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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