well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize