Please, let me fuck your mom
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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