I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
