Where did you get a picture of my penis
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I came so hard my ears popped.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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