you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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