he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
