Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
