let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
