yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
