I bet he comes in French.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
